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Benjamin's Daddy

3/27/2016

14 Comments

 
PictureMy Benjamin

I can now say that I have done a lot of different things and have held many different positions in my work and home life. I am a husband and a father. I am a Christian (that means Christ follower, although I don’t do that too well sometimes). Health wise, I am a cancer survivor and a diabetic. This is not that big of a deal. There are plenty of other people in the same boat but I am thankful for the years that I have been given. I served in the armed forces of the United States through active and reserve duty. I spent approximately ten years in Aerospace and Defense, working on things that many would consider critical to our nation’s defense. These days I work on helicopter components for a heavy lift helicopter company here in Oregon. I worked diligently on receiving my A&P License. Receiving it has helped me provide for my family for over another ten years now. I have never been the best at what I do but I have always given it my best effort and have contributed to the team that I was part of. I have never made a ton of money. As a matter of fact, I am on the heavenly retirement plan. I hope heaven gets here before I am no longer able to work. Yes, I have a sense of humor.

So where am I going with all of this? Of all the positions of responsibility that I have held, the greatest position that I have ever held is that of being a parent. Specifically, A parent of a Special Needs person. More specifically, My son Benjamin. In my book this is a position of great honor. I actually have three sons. Benjamin has two older brothers. His oldest being Daniel and the middle brother being Kenny. I am so proud of Benjamin’s older brothers. I love and miss both of them. They are both highly intelligent people. They get that from their mother’s side. They both turned out to be successful in spite of my lack of parenting skills. I have always loved being Benjamin’s dad, although there have been challenges along the way. Because of Benjamin, I have developed a sensitivity towards other children and adults with special needs.

Benjamin’s favorite place to go is this mall that we frequent. He loves the book store and all the sites that are there. He loves eating together at the food court, although he has problems keeping his eyes off of the girls when he needs to be paying attention to what’s on his plate. I notice that most people just give him a quick glance or a longer stare as we wheel him through the mall. However, every once in a while, we run across somebody that smiles at us or says hello. Sometimes, we run into another individual who is accompanying another special needs person. It might be someone with Cerebral Palsy, Downs Syndrome, or something altogether different. Smiles and hellos are exchanged. My desire is almost always to reach out to people to whom we have so much in common with. I especially have a thing for little damsels in distress. Hey, I am a guy. Just keeping it real!
 
Benjamin was late in reaching all his milestones. He has never received an actual diagnosis. He saw a geneticist when he was really young but she was never able to nail one down. Benjamin is developmentally delayed and functions at different levels in all the different areas of development. He has been on seizure medication since he was very young to control them. He has autism and difficulties in the area neuro-muscular function. Benjamin learned to walk later than normal and now needs assistance when he is not near structure or furniture to aide him in maintaining his balance. He has always been good natured and happy. He is so funny and full of surprises. Benjamin communicates with us through a series of signs, gestures, and broken verbal exchanges. For example, he bangs his empty cup on the table when he needs more to drink. His mom reminds him to use his words.

So as would any other parent in my position I have other concerns about Benjamin and our future together. My wife and I are dedicated to caring for this guy. He brings so much joy and laughter into our home. We made the unconscious decision a long time ago that we would keep him with us as long as possible instead of placing him in, say, a group home. He functions at a low enough level that it would be difficult for him to live outside our home. Plus, he would have to leave his little Man Cave behind.

So I don’t worry too much about the things I am concerned about but they are concerns. What kind of an effect will all the years of being on seizure meds have on Benjamin’s body? Will he develop issues with his internal organs? What if he is experiencing pain and isn’t able to communicate it to us? Will his physical body deteriorate further leaving him difficult to care for in our advanced years? Will he live beyond us and then not be able to understand why his parents are no longer there for him? Will we have to say goodbye to him if he proceeds us? Not to mention that things aren’t getting any easier in this world to say the least. What about my retirement years when my income drops? Again, I don’t sweat these things. God is in control.

One of my Facebook friends that has become increasingly more special to me is a lady named JoAnn. She is retired now and has a special needs son named Tommy. Tommy is 38 years old. The more I talk with JoAnn, the more that I feel we have in common. Tommy and Benjamin certainly have many things in common, although Tommy is a little older than Benjamin and functions at a lower level. Tommy was recently having issues medically that required him to be examined by doctors. It was determined that Tommy had an aneurysm that required immediate surgery. It was discovered during the surgery that Tommy had cancer that was spreading through his internal organs. His family’s worst fears were confirmed after consulting an oncologist. It was felt that Tommy would not be able to endure the treatment necessary to rid him of the cancer. Therefore, Tommy is in a hospice type of situation. JoAnn is currently awaiting his transfer to a facility nearer to her home. JoAnn and the rest of Tommy’s family are right in the middle of the type circumstances that we could face someday. Aside from the cancer, JoAnn deals with some of the same challenges that may await us. Again, I try not to stress over the possibilities, but the concerns are real. So, like many others, I am praying for Tommy, JoAnn, and the rest of their family. I am also praying for other families with members that have special needs and I try to stay involved socially and financially as I am able.

So where am I going with all this? I have a lot of things going on in life right now. My involvement with others that have similar circumstances, through social media, brings me the most fulfillment. I really enjoy being part of a community that seeks to bring honor to and care for people who should be societies most honored class of individuals. Most of all I love being Benjamin’s dad. This isn’t to say that I don’t love my other two boys an equal amount, but they are independent and self-sufficient. It’s a privilege to care for someone that requires special attention. He SO deserves it!

Honestly, I think society should embrace individuals such as Tommy and Benjamin. I don’t want to digress here but I had a thought. I have heard it said that the “R Word” (retard) should be done away with. I would agree except for one reason. I think that people that stare or turn away from people with special needs are retarded. I would agree that some of the Special people in the world are hard to look at but these people should be honored and cared for. Even I find it hard to not look away in some cases. Parents need to teach their children this very thing. People should reach out to those who have special needs and seek to help as they are able. This help can come in many forms. A smile and a kind word cost nothing but can mean so much! Okay, I am off of my soap box now.
There are so many Facebook pages that draw attention to people with special needs. Most, if not all, are worthy of our attention. It would be impossible to follow all of them. The least we can do is to be an encouragement to others.
 I love being Benjamin’s daddy…
~Greg~


Picture
Tommy has cancer. My heart goes out to you buddy. I am praying for you!
14 Comments
Cary Martin
3/27/2016 09:16:27 pm

Nice Greg, well done.

Reply
Greg Lopez
3/28/2016 06:36:10 pm

Thanks again Cary!

Reply
Sherri Long link
4/11/2016 06:14:33 am

I am so happy for u Greg Lopez ur an amazing father and I agree with u on people that just walk away from a special needs child they are all so precious I follow alot of special needs children not all of them have the same thing but yes special needs children should be treated with respect I was also a big follower and still am of Ali's Angels and Donya Catlett is one amazing woman.

Reply
Greg Lopez
4/11/2016 06:20:28 am

Thank you so much Sherri for your kind words! I am glad you like the post. Thank you for sharing!

Sherri Long link
4/11/2016 06:21:32 am

I also love and wish u well Benjamin and Tommy u and ur family are in my thoughts and prayers. Does Tommy have a special character like Iron Man, Batman, Superman, & or Captain America if so let Greg Lopez knw and I will see about getting Tommy & Benjamin a visit from them

Kay Sweet
3/28/2016 10:05:41 am

You're a natural Greg. It was insightful, humorous, teaching and above all, loving. I look forward to reading more.

Reply
Greg Lopez
3/28/2016 10:07:24 am

Wow Kay!
Thank you so much. Your kind words are greatly appreciated!
Greg

Reply
Rose Anne Davis
3/30/2016 12:20:50 pm

Excellent, Greg! I'm glad I got to meet your Benjamin. You and Rosie are wonderful parents. I admire you!
Glad Facebook put us in touch! (Via Adam Brown)

Reply
Greg Lopez
3/30/2016 12:31:24 pm

Thank you so much Rose Anne! Greatly appreciated!!

Reply
Annie Grine
3/30/2016 01:07:51 pm

Greg,
I loved reading your blog about your life and role as Benjamin's dad! I love hearing him clap on Sunday's at church while we worship together. I was raised to "see" folks with special needs, to look them in the eye and actually see them. Your comments were heartfelt and real. Our son Wyatt is volunteering at McNary with kids with special needs and shares such beautiful stories about them. God has put that on his heart and he is thinking about that direction for college next year. God's continued blessings on you and your family,
Annie Grine

Reply
Greg Lopez
3/30/2016 03:13:26 pm

Annie,
Wow! Thank you so much. I have seen several special needs people at church and that makes me happy. I am so glad to hear your perspective and I have seen you demonstrate that by reaching out to us. I think that your son would find that kind of work rewarding. The special needs community needs people like him. Love it at Dayspring! Thank you again,

Greg

Reply
Kelly Dunshee link
5/13/2016 06:43:23 am

Very well said Greg. So many people judge and stare at kids and adults with special needs. Happens with chelsea alot. She stems alot and makes vocal sounds when she does it. I see bad looks but she also gets smiles and nice compliments. I once had neighbor tell a friend of mine that she cant understand my daughter how can anyone ubderstand her when she talks. It hurt me but i realize not everyone is educated on people with autism or other disorders. She even told her son that chelsea is sick n to be careful right in front of me and chelsea people can be so ignorant. My daughter has open my eyes and heart to many others with many differnt abbilitys downs williams syndrom and i just love everyone and i love the nature these kids and adults bring i love the connection i have with many.

Reply
Lisa Sicora
5/13/2016 03:27:36 pm

I enjoyed reading this! So great that you are bringing such important things to light. This helps others to know that they are not alone! God bless you, Greg! (hug to Benjamin!) ;)

Reply
Greg Lopez
5/13/2016 07:24:07 pm

Thank you so much Lisa! It brings me a lot of joy to see that people appreciate my blog post about Benjamin. He is a special human being doe sure. I am glad you enjoyed the post. God Bless you,
Greg

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Picture


    Hello Everyone!

    Meet the kids that changed my life. Yes, this is true! I have learned that it is important to look beyond ourselves and take notice. I've said that Kids that battle are the most special and the most amazing. I believe that this is true. They are strong and resilient, even if unaware of the plight that they are involved with. I first became aware of kids that battle Batten disease as I learned of one little girl who battled. She really caught my attention. I began to write through a series of events and have never looked back. Hidden in between the titles of all of the stories in this blog is my own story. These kids taught me how to write. I’ll never win an award but these kids taught me that I have a passion for sharing their stories with others. Now, I have branched out a bit to include some of the families whose lives have been changed by a child who battles MPS. Perhaps there will be other types of stories as time continues. I hope that you will take the time to look within. Thanks for taking the time. Your friend,
    ​
    Greg Lopez

    Concerning kids who battle Batten disease -

    ​
    Is it them or is it us? Is it the feelings that they produce in us or is it that there is something truly special about them? I think that the answer has to be all of the above. It is them, but they also do something to us. Once you give a little piece of your heart to these kids and their families, they come close to taking all of it. Let it happen!
    ​
    Picture
    Families Who Battle
    MPS -


    I would like to welcome to my blog the families that make up the various groups within the MPS community. I am grateful for every opportunity to write about those who battle an MPS disorder. So far, families that battle MPS1 and MPS3 are represented. This, of course, is alongside their special children. This is a labor of love that is extended to each one of you! Scroll down to see MPS family titles.
    Picture

    ​

    HOW THIS BLOG WORKS -

    Take the titles listed below and go to month and year listed in the archives. 
    ​
    ​Batten Family
    Titles -
    January 2017 - 
    *The Story Between The Lines
    ​February 2017 -
    *I Know Just Where You Are
    *My Kind Of Royalty
    March 2017 -
    ​*The Caring Type
    *Face to face: A Fairy-tale
    April 2017 -
    *No Ordinary Love
    ​*A Rare Friendship
    May 2017 -
    *Tyrell and The Rare Love Story
    June 2017 -
    *Seth and The Healing 
    July 2017 - 
    *Little John and The Reason 
    *Sands and The Scottish Princess 
    August 2017 - 
    *A Rare Kind of Devotion
    *The Giggle Box 
    September 2017 -
    *Austin Smiles
    *Sweet Montanna and the Status 
    October 2017 - 
    ​*The Blog About My Blog
    ​*Sebastian's Story
    November 2017 -
    *Lydia, I Love You!
    ​*Kayden And The Change In Plans
    December 2017 - 
    *Those That Are Like Them
    January 2018 -
    *Nora Skye - I Know Just Where You Are
    ​*Brock and The Priceless Memories
    February 2018-
    *Jamesy Boy and The Treatment

    March 2018-
    *The Priceless Princess From Beyond
    ​*Forever Royal - Part One
    April 2018-
    *Forever Royal - Part Two
    June 2018-
    *That Kind of Love - Conner's Story
    August 2018-
    *Lasting Impressions
    September 2018-
    *What I See (She is a Butterfly)
    ​October 2018-
    *No Longer Alone - Kristiina's Story
    November 2018-
    *Things We've Talked About - Oscar's Story
    ​*The Reason Why - Hannah's Story
    December 2018-
    *Kayla's Perfect Princess - Breanna's Story
    January 2019-
    *Where Do I Go From Here? - An information only blog
    February 2019-
    *Warriors Unaware - Mia and Kaleb
    April 2019-
    *Her Little Story
    May 2019-
    *Someone Like Raelynn
    *Forever Royal - The Final Version 
    August 2019-
    *Awfully Beautiful - The Life of Noah and Laine
    September 2019-
    ​*A Lifetime of Love - Tegen's Destiny
    December 2019-
    ​*Forever Beautiful - Gabi's Story
    January 2020-
    ​*The Miracle Baby - Amelia's Story
    March 2020-
    ​*Dylan's Life - A Small Town Story
    May 2020-
    ​*Princess Grace and the Challenges
    June 2020-
    ​*Anything for Tessa - Her Story
    September 2020-
    ​*Haley Bug's Battle - A Family Story
    November 2020-
    ​*Journey Unexpected - The Rich Family
    January 2021-
    ​*My Life, My Everything - Lydia Rose
    February 2021-
    ​*A Love That Hurts - Shashka's Story
    July 2021-
    ​*The Things Looked Forward to - Addy’s Story
    November 2021-
    ​*Love Complicated - Bailey Rae's Story
    ​
    April 2022-
    ​*So Many Questions - Evelyn's Story
    January 2023-
    ​*The Feelings They Produce - Violet's Story
    Sanfilippo Syndrome and other MPS family titles -
    July 2020-
    ​*The Beautiful Light of Haidyn Grace
    August 2020-
    ​*Any Distance Traveled - Reagan's Story
    ​September
     2020-
    ​*The Missing Someone - Kiernan's Story
    March 2021-
    ​*The Transformation - Victoria's Story
    April 2021-
    ​*Not by Accident - The Charlie Grace Story

    Archives -

    Use title listed above with the applicable month and year.

    January 2023
    April 2022
    November 2021
    July 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    November 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    March 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    June 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016




    Highlights from the beginning. When the blog was named gregster60.com - 

    Benjamin's Daddy - March and June of 2016  - Revised May 2017. Titled Benjamin's Daddy Revised.

    My Fearless Adventure - April and May of 2016

    A Different Type of Warrior - January 2017

    Letter to
    ​Larry -
     February
     2017


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